top of page
Search
  • ARFID Awareness UK

"My journey out of ARFID"

In this first person account, adult AFRID warrior and community member Karen shares her story about how, with the help of a loved one, she has worked to overcome her restricted diet.

 

Anyone who meets me today would never guess that I used to have a very restricted

diet. Not only that but it lasted from when I was about 12 months old until I was 27. I

overcame the issue myself with the help of my husband.


My mother has told me that when she tried to encourage me to move from smooth

baby food in jars to lumpier ones and solids, she found that I wouldn’t or couldn’t do

it. I can confirm that the problem was a combination of texture, taste and smell. She

approached our GP, but this was the late 1960s/ early 1970s and she was told that it

was ‘just a phase’. The only advice she was given was to try mashed potato which I

rejected.


Some progress was made, but I wouldn’t eat ‘cooked meals’. My staple diet was

sandwiches, particularly banana ones. Some of the progress was due to a brief spell

staying with my aunt when my mother was unwell. My cousins were delighted to

have me stay and the eldest wanted to look after me. I enjoyed being with them and

when I came home again, I had started eating soft boiled eggs (yolk only) and

tomatoes.


Until my late twenties my diet consisted of all fruit (except grapefruit), raw carrots

and peas, salad, no meat or fish, butter, milk, yoghurt, Dairylea, cheese slices and

bread (white and wholemeal). I also ate cakes, biscuits, jam, virtually all desserts but

not crisps. I would drink any type of drink. Over the years I added a few random

foods including toast, chips, yoghurt, pancakes and Yorkshire puddings. I tried hard

with the yoghurt as a result of watching TV adverts. I always enjoyed what food I did

eat.


As I grew older, my diet had enough variety to enable me to join in with social

activities. My friends and family accepted me as I was and I really wasn’t bothered

about changing the situation. I went to friend’s homes after school for tea. As a

teenager, my circle of friends thought that going out for a meal was what old, boring

people did. When I did eventually start going to restaurants, my cover story was that

I was vegetarian and didn’t like anything on the menu. This was plausible in the

1980s when there was often only one veggie option. I would then ask for chips and

salad.


This continued until I was 27 years old around which time my social life was

changing. I had new friends, meals out became popular and I was invited on holiday

with friends. It was after a holiday abroad that I began to realise that my diet was a

hindrance, I didn’t like explaining to new people and it became something that I really

wanted to change.


Growing up in the 1970s, my family were typical in that meals were often meat

(covered in gravy) or fish with boiled vegetables, which I still wouldn’t consider

eating. I do eat boiled vegetables now, but prefer roasted or stir fried. I began with

potato croquettes and vegetable crisp bakes. It wasn’t too difficult once I decided to

try, but it wasn’t a huge advance either.


Around this time a friend took me to a pancake restaurant in London. It was

marvellous to be able to order straight off the menu and eat the same as everyone

else. I wanted to achieve more, but didn’t know how to.


Then I met someone, who is now my husband. He is vegetarian, a good cook and

ate the type of food that we didn’t have at home. He would cook pasta, chilli, curry

and was unphased by my restricted diet. I began to wonder if I could possibly eat

what he did and asked for his help. To be honest I did think that this type of food

looked a bit like ‘sick’ and said so, but he just laughed. So we began the gradual

process of me trying what he had cooked. Never at meal times which I think is

important. Initially, I managed the tiniest morsel of bolognese. That was all. We didn’t

try for more. He put the food away and we forgot about it for that day. This became a

routine, usually at the weekend when we were not going out. We progressed to an

amount the size of a dessert spoon and introduced chilli with a small amount of rice.


He says that the look on my face when I tried these new foods was exactly the same

as that of his baby nephew.

This is a long time ago now, but we both agree that at some point it was as if something was switched on inside me and the whole thing snowballed. I no longer had the fear of eating something new and I wanted to try as many things as possible.

However, it is also true to say that it was a gradual process. From the point of me

deciding that I wanted to change my diet to the point of complete success was

probably about 2 years.


From my own experience, I know that it is possible to change a restricted diet for the

better even after many years.

Having a reason to change, and wanting to change is vital for an adult.

Trying new food outside of mealtimes and the influence of children

or adults outside the immediate family can be helpful. Personally, I needed to take

the lead and control the pace of our attempts, but having the support of someone

who would cook, be patient, non-judgemental and not put me under any pressure

was invaluable.


I am still vegetarian - because I want to be and with hindsight it worked for me. I am

told that I am a good cook and I enjoy a wide variety of food including Italian, Indian,

Moroccan and Mexican. There are still some things that I would never eat, but if I go

out for a meal with friends or family, I am no more likely to say that I don’t like

something than they are. There is a huge variety of food available today compared

with when I was growing up and I don’t think it’s possible to like everything.

Before I changed my eating habits, I would never have believed that some of the

best meals I would have would be when I tried something new for the first time, but

it’s true.


Karen

 

3,105 views16 comments

Recent Posts

See All

16 comentarios


Invitado
06 dic 2023

I have had this since I was a kid, in my fifties now. Never tried anything that I didn't eat as a child. No meat, fish, salad. it's a small carb based diet and its slowly killing me.

Me gusta
Invitado
06 dic 2023
Contestando a

Please reach out for help. There is so much available that wasn't around when we were younger and also a much greater understanding.

Me gusta

Invitado
03 dic 2023

From Karen.


I recently read an article in the news about a person who had always had a very restricted diet. It resonated with me because I was the same until my late 20s. I was interested to read that very young children have a natural aversion to trying new food, which is a survival trait. It made me wonder whether for some people the trait doesn’t evolve. Especially as in my experience, when I started to change my diet it was as if a switch had been turned on (or even off?).

I considered whether my experience of changing my diet as an adult might be of any use…and here we are! Thanks to everyone who has read my…

Me gusta

Tia Roos
29 nov 2023

I wonder if earlier in life there is a direct connection with ARFID and care givers and relationships? Would seem so? The diagnosis would suggest that it’s something that is an actual mental barrier. I know for me depending on where I am emotionally I cannot bring myself to eat any new foods unless I feel stable and safe and even then that isn’t always successful. I do eat more not than I did as a child. But I think that’s maybe how ARFID naturally evolves. I still if left in a forest with only fruit. Would die.

Me gusta

Olika Pati
Olika Pati
29 nov 2023

Wow this story had me captivated. I am in NZ, my son now 14 years old has this behavior when it comes to food. I can count on one hand the foods he eats. Hearing the comment from Nick about having the same lunch throughout his school life... I can relate. As a mum in the first few years before discovering ARFID was a 'thing', my son would only allow me to put potato chips in his lunch box and nothing else! If I did put something else in there, he would not touch the potato chips. It used to stress me out so much! The amount of times we spent at the dinner table with my son almost …


Me gusta
Nick Hodgeson
29 nov 2023
Contestando a

Hi Olika, what you may find is that in adolescence and with more time & freedom with friends, he tries small samples of new things. It wasn’t until I was 17 that my then girlfriend somehow persuaded me to try pizza for the first time. Wow! It’s now my favourite food and mozzarella (twice a week) is the only cheese I eat as a result. I found like this that experiences & environments are also important in broadening diet, not just the food itself

Me gusta

Reece Palmer
28 nov 2023

I think it’s very important where you say “Having a reason to change, and wanting to change is vital for an adult.“ In my own case I no longer see my ARFID as a ‘problem’ that needs to be fixed. I’m lucky enough that I eat just about enough to stay as healthy as anyone else. On top of that I’ve accepted it along with most of my close family/friends and I feel much happier. There’s still the odd person here and there that interrogates me over it but other than that people aren’t too bothered. I’m happy with what I eat and as long as it doesn’t cause me any health issues in the future I don’t have any…

Me gusta
bottom of page